i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
