Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize