You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
