Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
