girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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