He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
