If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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