I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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