I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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