real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
