I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
