its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
