I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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