Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
