Midget sex pt 2 tonight
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
