I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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