I think im going to throw up on grandma
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
3pm strippers are depressing
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
