The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
