My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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