i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize