he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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