i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
