yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
