I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
