the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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