I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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