i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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