The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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