I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
