is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
