Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
