I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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