I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
