Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
PANTIES FOUND
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