it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Text me some of your sweat
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
