Ambien. No doubt about it.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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