I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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