So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
