i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
