The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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