yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
But we have bathrooms and they dont
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
