To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
