Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
