just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
