Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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