I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
