i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
