In the future we'll all be gay
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
