I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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