Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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