I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
