I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize