Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
