I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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