I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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