areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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