I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
